In February when Danny and I were vacationing, Marie and Christian contacted us about the possibility of adopting a little boy named Noelan. They wanted our thoughts. Of course we know personally that adoption and attachment isn’t an easy thing, but we also know that in this Christian walk Jesus often calls us to do things that aren’t easy.
I personally do not believe that everyone is called to adopt. Not everyone has the ability to love a child that is not their biological child. There are different callings for different people. We knew that Christian and Marie were praying and asking God for His direction. So we answered them we are 100% behind them in following God’s call and would help in any way we can.
After Danny and I had picked up and transported Noelan to emergency respite care and before the Burtts had arrived from Romania, my daughter said something so profound to me. She told me that even if they were not going to adopt Noelan that they still would have been willing to come back if only to come along side their friends to support and love them during such a difficult time.
That was the level of love Marie and Christian had for their friends. It is a Christ like love that lays down one’s life for a friend. Jesus said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13 Most people think Jesus is speaking about death, but actually that is not what it says….it says “lay down one’s life” and that’s what I saw Marie and Christian do hour after hour, day after day, month after month as they ministered to this little confused boy from Africa, working hard on his attachment and trust.
I actually think laying one’s life down in death could have been easier in some ways. To look back and realize that we led this child to believe he was a part of our family and he was secure makes us literally ill. If they had chosen to be honest with us we could have reminded him of who his parents were going to be and treated him in a more appropriate way for his well being. The pain is so great in betrayal. I liken it to emotional rape.
As more and more unfolds it seems a web of deceit started from very early on. It appears to be a premeditated betrayal. As victims we somehow feel responsible, but each of us know that’s not true. A person isn’t raped because their skirt was too short, it happens because there are evil people in the world who purpose to hurt others to gain what they want.
Dear God, how can something like this happen? It’s called a Judas kiss. An act of affection under a guise with fraudulent, evil motives. It happened to Jesus so I guess we shouldn’t be so surprised when it happens to his followers.
Luke 22:47-48 tells us – While Jesus was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”
Jesus knew what was going down, He wasn’t surprised, He was simply calling Judas on it. And in our situation with Noelan I know that Jesus was not surprised either. He knew what was going to go down with this sweet baby boy and He still asked Marie and Christian to come and try to help.
We will never be the same. We can’t save Noelan, but God can. That’s one of the reasons I suggested changing the name of his page from #savenoelan to #prayfornoelan. Pray for a little boy who is now certain to struggle with attachment disorder since he has been so thoughtlessly messed with and emotionally abused. Pray for the Burtts as they prepare to return to Romania purposing to continue to lay down their lives for others. Pray for emotional healing of our broken hearts and for spiritual renewal. Pray Marie and Christian can continue to “reject fear and choose love”. Because that’s what Jesus did for us.